So last November when we published The Last Testament, we didn’t expect to snag The Big Guy an interview in Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire.
Check it out and don’t forget to follow God on Twitter @TheTweetofGod!
Proust: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
God: I will not tell thee; thou wouldst only mess it up again.
Proust: What is your greatest fear?
God: It is hard to choose, for I have created so many great fears; but I guess one I have always been proud of is being scared of the dark.
Proust: Which historical figure do you most identify with?
God: Napoleon. He was so ambitious there were times I thought I was him.
Proust: Which living person do you most admire?
God: Tom Hanks. Class act.
Proust: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
God: My quickness to anger.
Proust: What is the trait you most deplore in others?
God: The way people keep doing things that make me get angry quickly.
Proust: What is your greatest extravagance?
God: I suppose some would consider lording over 30 universes an extravagance; to me it is a business expense.
Proust: On what occasion do you lie?
God: These days I never lie. That is one of the side virtues of never talking.
Proust: What do you most dislike about your appearance?
God: When I have to have one.
Proust: When and where were you happiest?
God: Eden, Day Seven. I slept till noon!
Proust: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
God: My changelessness.
Proust: If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?
God: Nothing. They’re the best.
Proust: What do you consider your greatest achievement?
God: Easy- The NivianBrandallaxes of the Phreculean— wait, is this theMilky Way edition of Vanity Fair? Oh… then, man. Mankind is my greatest achievement. Yea; definitely.
Proust: If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
God: Pass. Save that for the Kid.
Proust: What is your most treasured possession?
God: The Eagle Nebula.
Proust: What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
God: Hell. Obvious, but correct.
Proust: Who are your heroes in real life?
God: Anyone with the courage to abandon the false dreams put inside them by the devil.
Proust: What is it that you most dislike?
God: Blasphemy. And broccoli! (Laughs.)
Proust: How would you like to die?
God: No thanks.
Proust: What is your motto?
God: I Bless This Mess.